Eye Candy Origins

These flying eyeballs were first spotted in Minneapolis in the fall of 2017, shortly before local humans retreated to their hibernation chambers. Since Minnesotans emerge during winter only to chip walleyes off the tater tot ice blocks—and only with protective goggles due to the painful, disorienting white haze—the Eye Candy were able to reconnoiter the entire region with little interference. From there they began sending scouts to infiltrate both coasts of the U.S., the U.K., the U.P. and even the O.O.P.S.

Though the government denies their existence, an anonymous NASA scientist has leaked reports of strange transmissions from beyond our galaxy. From what we can tell, [redacted] appeared [redacted] to [redacted] with [redacted]. Signals may [redacted] and [redacted] indicate that [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]. [Redacted] light years from the Iris Nebula... [Missing paragraph]... The [redacted] planet dubbed I-BOLL I, meaning [redacted].


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